Beautiful Lie
by windwhisprer
Summary: [oneshot][SanzoGoku] Goku knew it was all a lie. Knew from the beggining Sanzo didn't love him. But coming face to face with the horrible truth, Goku finds himself running into the arms of someone else.[Rated T for mentions of rape]


**Beautiful Lie**

_How could I be so stupid?_

Goku could only stare helplessly at the two figures in front of him. Maybe he'd been in denial. Maybe he didn't think it was possible. Maybe he simply prayed it wasn't true. Whatever it was, he was now staring it in the face. The horrible truth he could not avoid. Only five months ago did they defeat Gyumaoh and Goku had confessed his love for the blonde-haired monk. The man accepted him, but said six words that the young man found ringing in his ears. _"This won't be love, you know."_

His golden eyes locked on his savior as the man finished pulling on his pants. The nameless man next to him glanced between to the two, unnerved by the sudden tension in the air. "See yah Sanzo," he replied, leaning up to kiss the man on the lips. Sanzo turned away, denying him the thing he sought. The man scowled at him, before grabbing his bag and disapearing down the hall.

"Sanzo?" Goku breathed. "Sanzo, who was that man?"

"I don't remember his name," Sanzo replied casually, grabbing his skin-tight shirt and pulling it over his head. "I think his name was Deon, or something."

"You know that's not what I mean," Goku insisted stubbornly, taking a step towards him. "What was he doing here?"

"I was just using him for sex, Goku, nothing more," he glanced over his shoulder, frowning at the hurt look that crossed his charge's face. "Don't take it personal, idiot. You weren't here."

_That's right, _Goku thought bitterly, his hands fisting at his sides. _I was out delivering a message to Hakkai. On your orders, Sanzo._

Before Goku could stop himself, he crossed the room in three easy strides, and smacked Sanzo right across the face. Sanzo didn't react as Goku expected. Instead of getting mad, yelling, or pulling out his deadly fan, he merely stared, his violet eyes calm and clear. "How dare you," Goku seethed, his eyes misting over with tears. He willed them not to fall. He would not let Sanzo see him cry. "How dare you do that to me," he raised his hand to strike him again, only to have Sanzo catch his wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sanzo asked, his tone holding no maliace. His violet eyes were burning holes in Goku's soul, and it hurt to look at them.

"Let go of me," Goku hissed, hatred radiating off him.

"Goku..."

"Don't even try!" Goku exclaimed suddenly. "Don't even touch me! I can still smell him on you. The scent of sex is all around you! It's disgusting." He tried to pull away, only to have his strength be sucked away by the look in Sanzo's eyes.

"You knew what this was Goku," Sanzo said, his voice still as even as ever. Not a hint of anger or remorse. "I will not be tied down to one person." He then leaned in, and kissed Goku straight on the lips. Goku almost melted. He couldn't help it. The aura this man held. His touch. The feel of his lips. He was so in love with him that a simple touch could melt away all his anger. But he knew he couldn't let Sanzo win him over. He couldn't fall and let the man have what he wanted, which was seemed to happen a lot.

Mustering up all his will power, he pulled away from the blonde, wipping his hand across his mouth as he shot the man the most disgusted look he could manage. "I can't even stand to look at you," Goku hissed, before turning and bolting from the room. He ran down the halls as fast as he could, before bursting out the front doors and into the cold night air. He would not look back, because he knew if he did, Sanzo would catch sight of the tears rolling down his cheeks.

Winter was rapidly setting in, and the night air was cold. It was brisk, nipping at his lungs as he dragged shakey breaths in. Frost was even setting itself on the grass, and it crunched under his feet as he ran. He realized he forgot his shoes as the ice began burning into the soles of his feet.

Goku had no idea where he was going. It was late, and there was no doubt he'd have to eventually turn around and go back to Chang'an. But not now. Goku couldn't stand looking into Sanzo's cold, unforgiving eyes. It broke his heart just to think about it. He was starting to get cold, and turned to the closest place to him, which happened to be a tavern. He didn't care. He was technocly of age, so they couldn't kick him out. Not like he was going to drink anything. He didn't have any money.

Goku entered the small tavern, finding it alive with people. No one even noticed his presence as he found himself a vacent booth, and took a seat. Shakily, he tried to calm his speeding heart. The run did nothing to affect his heartrate. It was all Sanzo. The man's kiss had been Earth-shattering. Then again the slightest touch from that man was mind-numbing. He knew Sanzo didn't love him. He knew it was all a lie... but still... he just, want to believe...

"Hey beautiful, what are you doing here alone?"

Goku's eyes cracked open, finding a man sliding himself into the seat across from him, a drink in his hand. His slate-grey eyes glinted with mischief as a smile touched his lips. Goku blushed when the compliment settled into his mind. "Uh... nothing. I just needed to sit down for a while."

The man smiled. "Well, I'm here alone. Name's Shion. Wanna be friends? I'll buy yah a drink."

Goku let a smile catch his lips. "I'd like that."

---

In only a few hours, Goku and Shion stumbled out of the night club. Goku had only one drink, before he proceeded to get way drunker then he should have. After all, the kid had only tried drinking several other times. It was then the two decided to try and sober him up with cola. It worked to some extent, but for some reason Goku found his legs would not work.

The two headed towards Shion's house, and Goku found he couldn't stop laughing at the way his legs moved. No matter how hard he tried to walk right, he kept on stumbling and swaying. Shion just smiled at him knowingly. That was one thing that set off Goku's instincts. The man seemed to smile like there was more behind his motives then what just appeared, and it was driving Goku nuts. Then of course the man offered to buy him a plate of meatbuns, and all suspicions were forgotten.

"Shion," Goku laughed, taking seval more awkward steps before leaning aganst a nearby wall. "I feel kind of funny."

The man shrugged, completely sober. "You're stupposed to feel funny, Goku."

"Why?" the boy inquired, a smile lighting his features. "What's the deal with these drinks?"

"Nothing's wrong with the drinks," Shion said. "I just drugged you."

Goku's smile began to fade as he turned his attention back up to the man. "You're kidding..."

Shion shook his head. "Nah. It's my thing. Pick up pretty young things. Drug 'em. Rape 'em. Then Murder 'em." Goku could feel the panic rise in his chest. "It's sick, I know. But I love the look in their eyes when I strangle the life from them."

He had to be dreaming. Had to be. This wasn't happening. He tried to calm himself, and push off the wall to knock the man out, when his legs gave out under him. He fell to the ground, but when he tried to push himself back to his feet, found the muscles in his legs seemed to have quit all together. Shion bent down in front of him, smiling devilishly. "I didn't give you enough drugs, dear Goku, so don't expect to pass out any time soon," his smile then stretched out into a grin. "I want to see the fear in those beautiful golden eyes."

Shion then leaned forwards, capturing Goku's lips in a rough and bruising kiss. Goku tried to struggle. Tried to scream and hit and get away, but found his muscles turned to mush the more the tried to move. Soon he was nothing more then a limp doll at Shion's disposal. Hands snaked under his shirt and began probbing and attacking muscles. Goku felt the need to vomit. This man was touching him in places only Sanzo had. His thought flashed to the blonde monk, and he prayed he would come for him. Goku had to dismiss that thought almost instantly. Sanzo was probably sitting in his room, smoking cigarettes and playing with whatever new sex toy he'd picked up. He was going to die because he was too stupid to trust his instincts.

_Sanzo... Save me..._

He felt his eye lids close, not wanting to see what this man had in store for him. "Look at me," Shion snapped. Goku defiantly kept his eyes closed. "Look at me!" Shion repeated, smacking him across the face. Still, Goku's eyes were closed. He wasn't sure how many more time Shion finally hit him. He lost count after eight. Finally, his eyes opened, to see the man grinning down on him sickly, and could vaguely feel the man fumbling with his pants. Then a flash of silver caught his eye, and Shion went flying off of him.

"Damn monkey, you can't do anything without me."

Goku let a small smile catch his lips. "You came..." he let his eyes fall shut for a moment. "I didn't... think..." he heard a gunshot, before he could feel the monk helping him up. His arm was slung over Sanzo's shoudler, and the two began heading back towards Chang'an. Goku's head lolled forwards, and his feet dragged across the ground.

"Don't do something so stupid again, you hear me?" Sanzo barked, continuing to drag Goku back. "I swear, if you die next time it won't be my fault."

"Thank you, Sanzo," Goku mumbled.

He wasn't sure when they returned to the temple, but at some point he recognised the scent of incesnse. He then felt the warmth of his bed, and cracked his eyes open, meeting with an all too familiar ceiling. "Sanzo?" he croaked out, hearing the monk pause.

"What?"

Goku turned his golden eyes over to him, and cracked a small smile. "I love you," it slipped out before he could stop, but he couldn't bring hismelf to care. It was the truth, and there was no point in denying it.

Sanzo said nothing as he leaned over, pressing his lips to Goku's. Goku kissed him back as much as his drug-ridden state would allow. He felt warm lips leave his, but by that point he was pretty much falling into unconsciousness. Before he completely slipped off, he couldn't help but smile at the realization that Sanzo never kissed anyone else on the lips. Other men may lie in bed with him, but only Goku was allowed to kiss those perfect scowling lips.

Goku was still as angry with the blonde as ever as he felt the man slip into bed with him, wrapping his arms rather protectivly around him. He knew it was all fake, and he would hate himself forever because of that fact, but he couldn't help but feel like maybe, something was there that kept the monk from throwing him out like ever other sex toy that had once lied in Sanzo's bed.

_What a beautiful Lie._

* * *

**A/N:** Please don't ask where the inspiration for this came from. I just had a random thought one day. It was; "I doubt Sanzo could ever be tied down to one person" and then this one-shot was born. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed, and please tell me your thoughts. Also, this is raw, so I have a feeling there will be quite a few mistakes in here. 


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